In my culture after someone's death there are a few rituals that have to be performed because we believe that it's necessary so that the person passes on to the next phase in the circle of life and death peacefully and easily. These rituals are to be performed by the loved ones and mainly by the male offspring. My uncle performed all the necessary rituals but he wasn't alone. I was with him at every step. From carrying my grandfather's body outside the house to helping it burn. I did all of these things even when I wasn't supposed to because my grandfather would've wanted me to participate in all of them. Today is the day when we collect the ashes from the place where we burnt the body two days ago and always there are some parts that aren't burnt completely like bone fragments and these are supposed to be collected by the 'male' members of the family. Without thinking twice I started collecting the fragments from the ash and there was a man who told me not to do so. Now this man wasn't a member of my family, nobody knew him and he was here for someone else's funeral, why the hell can't he mind his own business. All I gave him was a dirty look and continued to collect the fragments. What's worse is that he went to the priest who was handling all the things for us to tell him to stop me, all he got was a response that told him how some people wanted their daughters to do the ritual so he in no way whatsoever had the right to stop me.
All I know is I respected and cared for my grandfather a lot and nothing would stop me from completing my duties towards him. So keep your opinions and narrow minded thoughts to yourself dear man because showing love and respect is not determined by your gender but by your heart and mind.
R.I.P. Nana :*
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