Like I stated in my status on facebook, I am going say the same here. Death, after all is a new beginning.
Today is 8th September 2013, it was supposed to be my grandfather's 73rd birthday and that's why I flew in from Singapore just to surprise him. I thought that it would make him feel better especially since I was his favourite and his sole weakness. Little did I know that there was nobody lying in the bed that he was in the night before, instead there was a body in our drawing room surrounded by mourning family members. I had tried to surprise him but instead he did the favour. If only he could have waited a few days before leaving this world, before leaving me.
It feels like a void and I honestly don't know how to react. I still think that any moment now he'll call me by my nickname and ask me to get him something to eat or any moment now he'll start singing along his favourite songs, any moment now I will hear him snoring but none of these moments are going to happen and I should stop believing that they will. I have lost my pillar of strength and because of that not only do I feel empty and sad but confused and lonely too.
I won't have the opportunity to scold him when he doesn't take his medicines. I won't be able to give him a head massage or press his legs when he is tired. I will no longer have a big tummy for a pillow while watching a crime show. Worst of all, I will no longer have anyone to look up to. I finally understand the meaning of loss. There are so many things that I didn't tell him, things that I will not be able to tell him ever again. I hope he knows how much I loved him and cherished him.
Rest in peace with your favourite flowers and camera.
I love you Nana :')
and I miss you.
I miss you a lot.
Today is 8th September 2013, it was supposed to be my grandfather's 73rd birthday and that's why I flew in from Singapore just to surprise him. I thought that it would make him feel better especially since I was his favourite and his sole weakness. Little did I know that there was nobody lying in the bed that he was in the night before, instead there was a body in our drawing room surrounded by mourning family members. I had tried to surprise him but instead he did the favour. If only he could have waited a few days before leaving this world, before leaving me.
It feels like a void and I honestly don't know how to react. I still think that any moment now he'll call me by my nickname and ask me to get him something to eat or any moment now he'll start singing along his favourite songs, any moment now I will hear him snoring but none of these moments are going to happen and I should stop believing that they will. I have lost my pillar of strength and because of that not only do I feel empty and sad but confused and lonely too.
I won't have the opportunity to scold him when he doesn't take his medicines. I won't be able to give him a head massage or press his legs when he is tired. I will no longer have a big tummy for a pillow while watching a crime show. Worst of all, I will no longer have anyone to look up to. I finally understand the meaning of loss. There are so many things that I didn't tell him, things that I will not be able to tell him ever again. I hope he knows how much I loved him and cherished him.
Rest in peace with your favourite flowers and camera.
I love you Nana :')
and I miss you.
I miss you a lot.
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